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 SoulCysters PCOS Message Board
 Do you have this problem?
 Orgasms (Page 1)
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| Author | Topic: Orgasms |
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gal Honorary SoulCyster Posts: 5 |
posted 03-28-2002 10:06 PM
O.k...here it goes. I am asking the question about the big "O". Does anyone else have problems achieving orgasms? I have not seen this question asked....and was a little reluctant - but I need to know if there is anyone else out there with this difficulty. Can this be due to a hormonal imbalance? and /or the PCOS? Boo hoo........ IP: Logged |
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pruneisgoon Honorary SoulCyster Posts: 221 |
posted 03-28-2002 10:09 PM
hey gal no kidding..but the question is can you have an orgasm yourself or is it hard no matter what???? i swear the only way i can orgasm is with this industrial strengh vibrator on my clitoris.... and makes me soo mad taht i have friends that orgasm so easily and dont even want sex...yet ME WITH THE HIGHEST SEX DRIVE BC OF TESTOSTERONE HAS TO HAVE A PLUG IN THE WALL BULLDOZER OF A VIBRATOR TO ORGASM...its a cruel little joke i think rflmaooooo IP: Logged |
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gal Honorary SoulCyster Posts: 5 |
posted 03-28-2002 10:19 PM
I have an insatiable drive...very healthy in that respect. I find that orgasm is close to impossible with my significant other - and difficult solo. Ughhhhh! I know this is a delicate subject....but -.............I need feedback. IP: Logged |
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ang89 Honorary SoulCyster Posts: 247 |
posted 03-28-2002 10:43 PM
I've read that a lot of women have a hard time. I can't remember the numbers but a high percentage don't even Orgasm unless they have some tongue action(really do not know how else to say that)In other words I really do not think its harmones, I think it depends on the guy and how much he puts into it or how much we put into it. It is hard to acheive an O with just sex alone there has to be clitoris stimulation too. Your not alone. IP: Logged |
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sheila32 Honorary SoulCyster Posts: 204 |
posted 03-28-2002 10:48 PM
i think your 100% right about clitoris stimulation. I found being on top helps. IP: Logged |
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denverprincess Honorary SoulCyster Posts: 171 |
posted 03-28-2002 11:38 PM
OMG I can honestly say that a man has never given me an orgasm-yes I know,feel sorry for me! Im able to have one alone, but thats it! IT SUCKS! ------------------ IP: Logged |
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bluerose Honorary SoulCyster Posts: 124 |
posted 03-28-2002 11:46 PM
I was 26 before I had orgasm during sex.I had just started dating my now SO.I hate to say it girls but I had a panic attack and ended up freaking then crying on him.I thought I had had a seziure(SP?).Before him when I was with ex hubby I gave myself orgasm 75% of the time.Now I find it hard to get in the mood to have the big O.My SO being 8 years younger than me still has a semi high sex drive and mine is non existant. I feel sorry for him.He wants me to enjoy sex so bad and wont do it unless I have the big O first. IP: Logged |
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nunu Honorary SoulCyster Posts: 1254 |
posted 03-29-2002 10:16 AM
Sometimes your ability to orgasm can be affected by how comfortable you are with yourself and your partner. You can't be shy about asking for what you want and how you want it. Most men are more than happy to oblige! I'm not saying we have to be drill sergeants, but you can move him where you want him, if you know what I mean.  Fantasy can help, as the mind is our biggest sexual organ. When I was younger and less confident/comfortable with myself, I had difficulty too. I think it's because I would be too wrapped up in pleasing my partner and totally forget that I was supposed to be getting something out of this too. Now when I do have sex, it's more of a healthy balance. I wish you all luck.IP: Logged |
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Ugh Honorary SoulCyster Posts: 149 |
posted 03-29-2002 11:48 AM
I think this is more of a women's issue rather than a PCOS issue, as many women feel that the only orgasm they can have is the C orgasm. I truly believed I was only a C-O girl until I had my first g-spot one at 23....boy, are they good . I have to admit that my ability to have one lessened quite a bit since I started Yasmin, Aldactone, and Gluc, but I can still achieve them with some extra effort. I highly recommend doing Kegels on a consistent and daily basis. After a few weeks, you will probably feel a nice sensation as you squeeze and touch the g-spot with your vaginal muscles. You may want to buy a g-spot specific type of toy and stimulate yourself to find it. As far getting one with a partner, he must be patient and in tune with your body. I find that being on top and doing some Kegels during it really helps to bring on a g-spot one. Practice makes perfect...IP: Logged |
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Squirt Honorary SoulCyster Posts: 76 |
posted 03-29-2002 12:26 PM
Hi Gal, I have been having problems acheiving an orgasm for a few months now and I am very much wondering if it is indeed hormonal. Before I met my boyfriend I had no problem acheiving an orgasm quickly and with little effort with self stimulation and when I first met him I was on Ortho 777's and had no problem acheiving one either. Then I switched to Ortho-Tricyclens and for the last few months since using them I am unable to achieve an orgasm or it just takes so long to get there that my boyfriend ends up losing his erection (He has Impotence problems as well which we first discovered when we got together..both of us had been alone for many years beforehand and he never knew). I believe the hormnoines in the pills might be affecting me that way and i have asked everywhere....even in this forum but got no answers Anyway right now..Sunday in fact I am going on a different brand of BC pills and i hope this solves my problem. Anyway your problem could be due to hormones. I really wish I had all the answers too as I am just as puzzled as you might be. IP: Logged |
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DeeAnn Honorary SoulCyster Posts: 15 |
posted 03-29-2002 01:48 PM
I dont know if it is hormonal or not I have very high testotrone sorry for spelling and I have like no sex drive for the past 2yrs and I have not been able to orgasim for the past yr I dont know why I have been with my hubby for 12yrs he is the best lover does everything right even oral I cant even orgasim with anymore it is very frustrating for him and me who once was a horn dog now i have no desire I am not on any bc or hormone meds so what is wrong with me because I sure miss the earthquake of the BIG O....... DeeAnn IP: Logged |
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KristiPooh Honorary SoulCyster Posts: 27 |
posted 03-29-2002 03:59 PM
Ok, while we are on the topic of the big "O" I have a question. I have them in my sleep. It's been happening for about the last 5 years about once a month. I don't know what I am dreaming about but I wake up having a major "O". I haven't been in a relationship in quite some time, and when I was..achieving the big "O" or even little "O" was difficult and tedious. I have never asked anyone about this b/c of embarassment, but since we are on the subject and we are all anonymous buddies I figured I'd ask. Anyone else have this? I guess it's like a wet dream of sorts...?? Its very odd. (not that I'm complaining!) hee hee........ IP: Logged |
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Squirt Honorary SoulCyster Posts: 76 |
posted 03-29-2002 04:09 PM
Hi Kristipooh I can answer your question. When I was on my own before I met my boyfriend I used to also get orgasms in my sleep. I still have them now if I have not seen him or self pleasured for a long time so you are not the only one. Many women get them so it is completely normal. Enjoy.  When I wake up having one I always wonder what i was dreaming about that was so good. I must have some real hottie of a dream lover. IP: Logged |
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pruneisgoon Honorary SoulCyster Posts: 221 |
posted 03-29-2002 09:38 PM
hmm well trust me... i am totally comfortable to make my man move about and stay down there a long time to bring me to an big O BUTTTT... maybe its bc of the testosterone..but the rubbing and tongue is NOT strong enough for me... NOW THIS PART IS GRAPHIC SO READ ON IF IT BOTHERS YOU LOL its almost like my clitoris is like a penis... a man couldnt orgasm usually through just togue they in general need big time man handling or sex to orgasm... maybe the way i am wired needs that sort of hard stimulation.. i can orgasm wonderfully like i said above with a REALLY strong vibrator..but the kinds with batteries... i can barely feel... IP: Logged |
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jlucy Honorary SoulCyster Posts: 272 |
posted 03-29-2002 10:58 PM
Interesting that this topic has just been posted because I've been thinking about this lately. I sometimes take a while to O. I always have better ones, well, alone. I can with a guy but it usually works better if I'm on top. I feel inside of me like if I could just find the right man to connect with it could be awesome but I can't and now have a great big sex drive and nobody to share it with  Sounds like a lot of guys' dream girl huh?IP: Logged |
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Squirt Honorary SoulCyster Posts: 76 |
posted 03-29-2002 11:04 PM
No offense here. I am always forgetting that my boyfriend needs manhandling to bring him to orgasm. It is what he does for himself when we are not together just like all I need is some clitoral stimulation and Little BOB when I need tension relieved when we are not together. Because of my weight (close to 400 pounds) I cannot sucessfully get on top of him for sex plus he is rather stubby (6 inches long but very thick around...about 7 and a half inches when fully erect and very hard) so that makes it even tougher. I cannot on my own have an orgasm when I am underneath him so what i do is slip my hand in between us (after a lot of foreplay) and manually stimulate my clitoris while he is pumping inside. I have had some mind blowing orgasms doing this. Can't wait until Tuesday for his next visit IP: Logged |
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Squirt Honorary SoulCyster Posts: 76 |
posted 03-29-2002 11:06 PM
Yes it does Jlucy but where are the horny men who want to make a commitment and are also decent honest guys? IP: Logged |
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gal Honorary SoulCyster Posts: 5 |
posted 03-29-2002 11:33 PM
I am so glad that I am not alone on this. I envy women that achieve an "O" with ease. "O"....TO BE SO LUCKY!!!!!!!!!!!! IP: Logged |
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nunu Honorary SoulCyster Posts: 1254 |
posted 03-30-2002 11:15 AM
Pruneisgoon: I once read (written by a doc, but I can't remember which) that if a woman uses a strong vibrator frequently or as her only method of climax, she will lose the ability, or it will become difficult for her, to orgasm with more subtle stimulation. Sort of like a "numbing" of the tissues so to speak. They recommended trying to wean off using a strong vibrator by developing your ability to O using other forms of manual stimulation. Just thought I'd let you know KristiPooh: O during sleep is very normal, even though we only hear about guys' "wet dreams" it does happen to women too. Squirt: I suppose it could be your type of pill causing the difference, but when you mentioned your SO's impotence problem, it occured to me that I would probably have a hard time Oing if I was afraid he was going to lose it and didn't want to make him feel bad, so I'd "hurry up" so to speak. Perhaps this could be adding to your problem? To anyone on antidepressants: many of them reduce ability to O. I had to take them a few years ago and at the beginning it was like my body wasn't mine, the parts didn't work anymore! It went away after I was on them for a while. Just thought I'd mention it. IP: Logged |
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Moonchild Honorary SoulCyster Posts: 190 |
posted 03-30-2002 01:15 PM
I don't have any probs reaching O but I have serious probs agreeing to try. DH is only 23 and VERY interested in sex. I am just not interested. I usually agree about 2X a week and once we get going I really enjoy it and reach O fairly easily but he thinks 2X a week isn't enough. So does anyone else have that problem??? Am I being unreasonable? BTW I have only had 1 O from intercourse alone & I was on top. So like everyone else said you need something extra to make it happen. I think it's a woman thing, not a PCOS thing. Dawn ------------------
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mary71 Honorary SoulCyster Posts: 183 |
posted 03-30-2002 09:04 PM
Sheila, I have to agree with u. I reach orgasm the best while on top lol...b/c when he's on top I dont reach orgasm... --mary ------------------ IP: Logged |
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BabyJade Honorary SoulCyster Posts: 68 |
posted 03-30-2002 09:07 PM
You are not alone...I have a high sex drive but I have a hard time reaching the big O myself...even with a B.O.B (battery operated boyfriend) because I'm on Celexa for depression & anxiety. I just got on Wellbutrin SR and it's not really helping yet. Jen IP: Logged |
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jlucy Honorary SoulCyster Posts: 272 |
posted 03-31-2002 02:40 AM
yes, squirt, that is the problem. I want a guy with a committment not just a horndog. But I can't just make myself be into somebody. I have a hard time finding somebody I'm into like that who will treat me right.
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Squirt Honorary SoulCyster Posts: 76 |
posted 04-05-2002 04:39 AM
Hi Jlucy, I showed my boyfriend that bit in an email about how to tell if a woman has a real orgasm and after we had sex he reached down and gave a little feel and naturally I moved away quickly because I was sensitive there so then what does HE do....looks down at me(he was on his knees between my legs while I was flat on my back)smiles and says...'Just checking' I cracked up. IP: Logged |
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jlucy Honorary SoulCyster Posts: 272 |
posted 04-05-2002 05:52 PM
Squirt, I don't know if I want to tell my friend that I've been posting about him on this board, I really would NOT want him to read some of the things I post here, but maybe I'll get to tell him that others are using his trick! Ha! It was funny, when I told him I'd never faked it he seemed surprised. Do that many girls fake it??? IP: Logged |
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Squirt Honorary SoulCyster Posts: 76 |
posted 04-05-2002 08:53 PM
quote: My boyfriend Mike asked me once if I ever faked it when I was with him and i told him 'No I never have...what would be the point to faking it?' It's difficult enough for me to have an orgasm and I told him that He seemed rather surprised that I have never faked it because he heard a lot of girls do fake it but now since he knows this little trick he can check if he is unsure. One time I even asked him afterwards 'Wanna check?' and he giggled as he was lying beside me catching his breath. As for many girls faking it...I really don't know. I just know I don't. What I found unusual with my boyfriend is that he cannot tell if I have had an orgasm and I thought guys could. I figured they would at least feel the muscle contractions of the vagina squeezing them when we orgasm but my boyfriend says he doesn't and he's a rather big fellow down below. IP: Logged |
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TennGirl Honorary SoulCyster Posts: 147 |
posted 04-06-2002 04:11 PM
I have NEVER been able to O with a man, including my husband! The only times are by myself. I suppose it doesn't matter too much though, since I have absolutely NO sex drive WHAT-SO-EVER! IP: Logged |
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jlucy Honorary SoulCyster Posts: 272 |
posted 04-07-2002 12:19 AM
Squirt, now this same male friend today said that for a guy, sex is a very important part of relationship. He said for girls he thought it was more about companionship or something. I said, no, you're wrong. I told him if it wasn't for the sex part I wouldn't even bother trying to date anyone. He seemed surprised. Is that that weird? I mean damn, I HAVE friends, I want somebody to have sex with. Of course, I can't just have indiscriminate sex either. Hmmmm, maybe he isn't very good in bed?!? Girls faking it and thinking they don't really want it all that much???? IP: Logged |
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Celina74 Honorary SoulCyster Posts: 116 |
posted 04-07-2002 09:37 AM
Orgasm??Whats that??LOL!a man has never given me an orgasm I can make it happen myself( not the g-spot one,deep in the vagina, but the other one)I have no idea why, I love sex, and have a big sex drive, but cant manage to get an orgasm IP: Logged |
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Squirt Honorary SoulCyster Posts: 76 |
posted 04-07-2002 11:08 AM
quote: I'm glad you told your male friend he was wrong JLucy. What would guys do without us ladies around to correct them? Heehee. It's not weird that your male friend was surprised. Just like us guys don't have all the answers either. It took me a long time to learn that. I also know what you mean about you cannot have indiscriminate sex either. I'm the same way. I won't sleep with anyone who I don't find attractive in some way or don't know anything about them. In this day and age it's unsafe to have sex with just anyone. Jlucy...privately email me if you like. I'd love to talk more to you about this. IP: Logged |
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BabyJade Honorary SoulCyster Posts: 68 |
posted 04-07-2002 12:45 PM
I do...but it's partially because I'm on Celexa...ugh..it makes me feel incompetent!!! Jen IP: Logged |
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Calamity Honorary SoulCyster Posts: 124 |
posted 04-08-2002 06:42 AM
I have NEVER EVER had an orgasm!!!! It is soooooo frustrating.... I feel totally relaxed, have no hang-ups, been with boyf for nearly 4 years now, we get to the point where we just don't want it. I can't even get the big "O" through any form of foreplay or battery operated machinary....alone or with the man....HELP......will it ever happen, on;y now I get excruciating pain during sex, so I definitely don't want it ever again......HELP!!!
------------------ IP: Logged |
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jlucy Honorary SoulCyster Posts: 272 |
posted 04-09-2002 11:42 PM
Squirt, I sent you an email, did you get it? IP: Logged |
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Squirt Honorary SoulCyster Posts: 76 |
posted 04-11-2002 09:36 PM
quote: Yes I got it JLucy. Will reply to it tomorrow after the kids leave for school. I just spent a few days with my boyfriend and I don't go online when he is here. IP: Logged |
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naynaylol Honorary SoulCyster Posts: 12 |
posted 04-27-2002 08:22 PM
ok, here goes... My sex drive goes way up and down drastically. It had been down a while and had gotten VERY hard to O. Hubby can't last a real long time so we got him some viagra. We made a date, ordered x rated movies for first time ever and had the most romanticly, fulfilling (sp)? passionate night EVER. I had two O's!! I think it helped to have the excitement of something new, anticipation about trying medicine to make it last like doublemint gum,and the excitement about the movies. Maybe it could help others to try someting totally diffrent like that.... ------------------ IP: Logged |
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srinato Honorary SoulCyster Posts: 205 |
posted 04-28-2002 01:37 PM
Ok, maybe I'm a freak but I NEVER use a vibrator. I tried one once years ago and hated it! Way too much stimulation for me. On my own I can always orgasm and very quickly too. With a partner I need to feel very safe and comfortable and I only have sex if I do......and I am usually ok. Sometimes I can "O" during intercourse, sometimes I cannot but usually can during other stuff. Years ago I was on prozac and could not orgasm, I got off of it very quickly! I am taking Wellbutrin SR now without any sexual problems. IP: Logged |
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jb1220 Honorary SoulCyster Posts: 16 |
posted 04-28-2002 07:22 PM
I never had any difficulty until I was diagnosed with Type II diabetes. When my blood sugars are too high I can barely feel a thing. It is horrible! If I am able to have an orgasm it doesn't feel the same as when my blood sugars are running normal. I have also read that high blood pressure can cause problems too. I hope you are able to find out what is causing your problem! IP: Logged |
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soccernut Honorary SoulCyster Posts: 16 |
posted 05-01-2002 12:37 AM
I do not want anyone to get mad but I can experience multiple orgasms. I want to share a secret with you, lots of foreplay and don't rush anything timewise,as you may already know it takes us women time to get ready, for me if my dh just massages the inner walls of the vagina and then starts a nice rhythem then progressively speeds up his hand motion, it is possible to have more than one, I also squeeze my PC muscles, we do not have to wait on them for us to have an orgasm. Try gripping something too. But be careful not to strain. I have to confess, when my spouse and I are in the middle of conflict resolution it is hard to want to be intimate with him. I hope that this helps. You can do it, it is possible to do it without using a vibrator, communication with your signif. other is the key to learn what feels good and what does not. Women reach a orgasm when they feel truely understood and loved by their signif. other compared to guys who just need visualization cues to have an Orgasm. IP: Logged |
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soccernut Honorary SoulCyster Posts: 16 |
posted 05-01-2002 12:42 AM
I want to give you a resource to all of you, a Book called Sex begins in the Kitchen by Dr. Kevin Leman. The main point of the book is that "sexual intimacy is an expression of intimacy that a couple shares in all areas of their life together." He is a well-known trusted psychologist who has also written The New Birth Order Book and Making Children Mind without Loosing Yours. IP: Logged |
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Bertiebugg Honorary SoulCyster Posts: 69 |
posted 05-01-2002 01:37 AM
It use to be so easy for me to reach O but now it seems so hard to.... all I can think about is that my horomones have evened out more... basically I am "normal" horomones for a female... All I can think is it harder for me to do it now because I dont have as much male horomones... I mean when I had a lot my finance at the time all he had to do was look at me and it was all over.... I dont know all I need to know is I want my O's to come back IP: Logged |
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